You never know what might help heal a grieving heart. Who knew a passage from a book or a line in a song or a stanza of a poem could be a voice in the process? It can, and here is my note of appreciation.
For years music held the means to raise my spirits whenever I was out-of-sorts or having a low day. Listening to music is healing therapy for some. Singing lyric was even more so for me. There was a time when singing a rousing rendition of
would turn everything around for me. But, in 1995, everything changed. Vocalizing was no longer available to me. My husband helped me find a healing heart path to soften that grief in 2009. He was my anchor, my champion, my source of joy, my romance.
“It’s not true that life is one damn thing after another;”
Edna St. Vincent Millay said, “it’s one damn thing over and over!” It turns out that grief journeys tend to be extended. As one travels through a life of experiences, it feels as if just as one grief begins to yield to provide a little respite, then something else comes along to bring new pain and loss, leading me to view life as a ‘crisis management’ project!
“We read to know we are not alone.” CS Lewis
Healing journeys are different from grief journeys in that one is on the path of grief, but the way through the grief is in discovering how to heal, if just in small measure, to feel lightness of being…to breathe easier…to laugh again.
Over the last two months, I’ve been reading the OUTLANDER series by Diana Gabaldon. Reading these books have been a tonic and good company through some very lonely time.
There are any number of little inspiring phrases I recite to remind me to re-focus, find courage, reclaim living–“Into every life a little rain must fall.” “I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.” “Pick yourself up; dust yourself off, and start all over again.”
To quote Joe Biden’s mother, “As long as you’re alive, you have an obligation to survive until you see the face of God.”
Surviving is one thing….Feeling and Being Alive is another, and that’s the journey I’m trying to take.
For the most part, my survival skill is to do for others. I have remained ‘lost in yarn’ knitting one thing after another, particularly clicking for babies making purple hats to donate to a local hospital for the Period of Purple Crying project. But, it’s being alone.
Yes, yes…I have been spending a lot of time on Facebook, YouTube and finding inspirational quote posters to help assuage my loneliness and raise my spirits too. Some might argue whether spending time in the ‘No-zone’ is actually ‘constructive’ distraction, but I’m seeking no justification.
For distraction on a particularly emotional day last week, I was pinning some YouTube videos and poster quotes of various scenes from the STARZ television OUTLANDER production, when to my amazement I suddenly found my way to a healing path through this quote…
That simple statement somehow released me from the tethered spot in which I’d been living –not going right–not going left, for the past year.
I’m not saying that the grief is passed, nor that I am ‘healed’. I am saying that the message spoke to me loud and clear, “YOU’RE HERE”, and serves as a reminder of what my husband would say, “Songbird, Live in the NOW.”